Ibn Uthaymeen: “Do not Marry 7 types of Women …
Do not Marry 7 types of Women
1. Al-Annaanah:
The woman who whines, moans and complains and ‘ties a band around her head’ all the time (i.e. complains of a headache or some illness but in reality she is not sick, rather she is faking).
2. Al-Mannaanah:
The woman who bestows favours, gifts, etc. upon her husband then (at that time or the future) says; “I did such and such for you or on your behalf or because of you.
3. Al-Hannaanah:
The women who yearns or craves for her former husband or children of the former husband.
4. Kay’atul-Qafaa:
The women who has a brand mark on the nape of her neck (i.e. has a bad reputation or doubts about her).
5. Al-Haddaaqah:
The women who cast her eyes at things (i.e. always looking at something to purchase, then desires it and requires her husband to buy it (No Matter What).
6. Al-Barraaqah:
The women who spends much of her day enhancing her face and beautifying it to such an extent that it will seem like it was manufactured.
7. Al-Shaddaaqah:
The woman who talks excessively..
Taken from the Book: ‘A Concise Manual of Marriage’ by Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen
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Seven Types of Women to Avoid Marrying
Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen رحمه الله – A Concise Manual of Marriage
1. Al-Annaanah (الأنانة) – The Constant Complainer
Description:
A woman who constantly complains about hardships, exaggerates difficulties, and frequently expresses dissatisfaction with her circumstances. She may complain about financial matters, family issues, or trivial daily concerns, creating a negative atmosphere in the home. Instead of practicing patience and gratitude, she focuses on what she lacks rather than appreciating what she has.
Marriage is built on mutual support, patience, and gratitude. A wife who is never content can drain her husband emotionally, making it difficult for him to find peace and stability at home. A righteous wife, by contrast, is a source of comfort and tranquility for her husband.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah emphasizes the virtue of gratitude and warns against ingratitude:
“If you are grateful, I will surely increase your favor; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.”
(Surah Ibrahim 14:7) - Allah commands believers to be patient in trials and hardships:
“And seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, it is difficult except for the humbly submissive.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:45) - The reward of patience is great:
“Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account.”
(Surah Az-Zumar 39:10)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- The Prophet ﷺ warned against excessive argumentation and complaining:
“The most hated person to Allah is the one who is the most quarrelsome and argumentative.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 2457, Sahih Muslim 2668) - The Prophet ﷺ described a grateful wife as a source of happiness:
“The world is but a [temporary] enjoyment, and the best enjoyment in the world is a righteous woman.”
(Sahih Muslim 1467) - A woman who is ungrateful to her husband is at risk of punishment:
“O women! Give charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.” They asked, ‘Why is that, O Messenger of Allah?’ He said, ‘Because you complain too much and are ungrateful to your husbands.’”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 304, Sahih Muslim 80) - The Prophet ﷺ encouraged patience, which prevents unnecessary complaints:
“Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. No one is granted a gift better and more comprehensive than patience.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 1469, Sahih Muslim 1053)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“A man should not marry a woman who complains excessively, for patience is the foundation of a happy home.”
(Ibn Abi Shaybah, Musannaf, 3/21) - Al-Hasan Al-Basri رحمه الله:
“Gratitude is half of faith, and patience is the other half. A woman who lacks patience in her home will not bring peace to her husband.”
(Ibn al-Jawzi, Sifat al-Safwah, 2/148) - Ibn Qayyim رحمه الله:
“A person who constantly complains is blind to his blessings, and such blindness leads to a miserable life.”
(Madarij al-Salikeen, 2/301) - Ibn al-Jawzi رحمه الله:
“If a woman does not learn patience in her home, she will turn it into a place of torment rather than tranquility.”
(Sifat al-Safwah, 4/149) - Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal رحمه الله:
“The woman who is always discontent will not bring peace to her family, for contentment is the root of a righteous home.”
(Kitab al-Zuhd, p. 184) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“A wife’s greatest quality is patience, and her greatest flaw is complaint.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 4/79)
2. Al-Mannaanah (المنانة) – The Boastful Giver
Description:
A woman who frequently reminds her husband of her favors, whether financial, emotional, or otherwise, using past good deeds as leverage. She may repeatedly say, “I did this for you,” or “You wouldn’t have achieved this without me,” making her husband feel indebted. Such behavior contradicts sincerity in marriage, as kindness should be given for the sake of Allah, not as a tool for manipulation.
A relationship built on constant reminders of past favors creates resentment and removes barakah (blessings). This attitude goes against humility and sincerity, two essential qualities in a successful marriage. A righteous woman gives without expectation of repayment, knowing that her reward is with Allah.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah warns against invalidating good deeds with boasting:
“O you who have believed, do not invalidate your charities with reminders or injury, as does one who spends his wealth to be seen by the people and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day…”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:264) - Sincerity in giving is more valuable than the act itself:
“They give food in spite of love for it to the needy, the orphan, and the captive, [saying], ‘We feed you only for the countenance of Allah. We wish not from you reward or gratitude.’”
(Surah Al-Insan 76:8-9) - Gratitude is an obligation upon believers, but forcing others to acknowledge one’s good deeds is blameworthy:
“And whatever you spend of good – it will be fully repaid to you, and you will not be wronged.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:272)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- The Prophet ﷺ warned against those who boast about their generosity:
“There are three whom Allah will not look at on the Day of Judgment: the one who disobeys his parents, the woman who imitates men, and the one who reminds others of his favors.”
(Sahih al-Jami’ 3066, Al-Albani) - The Prophet ﷺ emphasized the virtue of sincerity in giving:
“A person who gives in charity and conceals it so that his left hand does not know what his right hand has given will be under the shade of Allah’s Throne on the Day of Judgment.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 1421, Sahih Muslim 1031) - Allah does not accept acts that are done for show or personal gain:
“The worst people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Judgment are the two-faced, those who appear one way to some people and another way to others.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 6058, Sahih Muslim 2526) - A wife should not use past favors to belittle her husband:
“The best among you are those who are best to their wives.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162, Al-Albani: Sahih)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Abdullah ibn Mas’ud رضي الله عنه:
“Do not marry a woman who reminds you of her kindness, for kindness should be natural, not transactional.”
(Ibn Abi Dunya, Husn al-Khuluq, 1/38) - Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“A woman who constantly reminds her husband of what she has done for him is a burden, not a blessing.”
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/312) - Ibn Qayyim رحمه الله:
“The one who reminds others of their favors has not truly given, but has only invested in his ego.”
(Madarij al-Salikeen, 2/303) - Al-Hasan Al-Basri رحمه الله:
“A true believer does good and forgets it, but a hypocrite does good and reminds others of it.”
(Az-Zuhd, Ibn al-Mubarak, p. 586) - Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal رحمه الله:
“A woman who boasts about her generosity will never be truly generous, for generosity is in humility, not in reminders.”
(Kitab al-Zuhd, p. 184) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“The noblest of women are those who give without expecting thanks, for they seek their reward from Allah.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 4/79)
3. Al-Hannaanah (الحنانة) – The Longing Woman
Description:
A woman who remains emotionally attached to a past husband, relationship, or life she once had, making her current marriage unstable. She frequently reminisces about her previous experiences, compares her current husband to a past spouse, or expresses regret about the marriage. This type of behavior creates dissatisfaction, disloyalty, and emotional distance between spouses, preventing a strong and harmonious marital bond.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Marriage is a sacred covenant that requires commitment:
“And they (your wives) have taken from you a firm covenant.”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:21) - A believing woman should focus on her duties in the present:
“And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others…”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:32) - Contentment and gratitude lead to stability in marriage:
“If you are grateful, I will surely increase your favor; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.”
(Surah Ibrahim 14:7)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- A woman should not keep seeking divorce unnecessarily:
“Allah does not like a woman who constantly seeks divorce without a valid reason.”
(Sunan Abu Dawood 2226, Al-Albani: Sahih) - The Prophet ﷺ commanded women to focus on fulfilling their obligations to their husbands:
“If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (Ramadan), safeguards her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever gate you wish.’”
(Sunan Ibn Majah 1844, Al-Albani: Sahih) - A wife should maintain loyalty and affection toward her husband:
“The best of women are those who are most affectionate to their husbands, most productive in childbearing, and who bring the most comfort to their spouses.”
(Musnad Ahmad 19304, Al-Albani: Hasan)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“Do not marry a woman whose heart is elsewhere, for loyalty is the foundation of a strong home.”
(Ibn Abi Shaybah, Musannaf, 3/30) - Abdullah ibn Mas’ud رضي الله عنه:
“A woman whose heart is divided will never bring peace to a home.”
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, 4/290) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“A righteous woman does not turn her gaze toward her past, but toward her obligations in the present.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 4/79) - Ibn Qayyim رحمه الله:
“The one who looks back cannot move forward; a woman who holds on to her past is not ready for a righteous marriage.”
(Madarij al-Salikeen, 2/303) - Imam Malik رحمه الله:
“The stability of a marriage is built upon contentment. If a woman constantly compares her husband to others, she has lost the meaning of loyalty.”
(Al-Muwatta, 2/524) - Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad رحمه الله:
“A wise woman is one who values what Allah has given her in the present, rather than longing for what He has removed from her past.”
(Hilyat al-Awliya, 8/93)
4. Kay’atul-Qafaa (كاتة القفا) – The Woman of Bad Reputation
Description:
A woman who has a history of immorality, questionable conduct, or an unclear reputation. She may be known for engaging in indecent behavior, lacking modesty, or associating with inappropriate company. Islam places great emphasis on a person’s reputation and honor, particularly in matters of marriage, as these qualities directly affect the stability of the household and the upbringing of children.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah commands believers to marry those of good character and purity:
“Impure women are for impure men, and pure women are for pure men. These (pure people) are free from what they (the slanderers) say. For them is forgiveness and noble provision.”
(Surah An-Nur 24:26) - Modesty and chastity are core virtues of a righteous woman:
“And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof…”
(Surah An-Nur 24:31) - A chaste and upright reputation is part of a woman’s dignity:
“And they who guard their chastity—Except with their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed.”
(Surah Al-Mu’minun 23:5-6)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- The Prophet ﷺ commanded marrying for deen and character:
“When someone whose religion and character pleases you comes to propose, accept him, lest there be corruption and great mischief on the earth.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1084, Al-Albani: Hasan Sahih) - A woman’s character is a priority over beauty or wealth:
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be covered in dust.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5090, Sahih Muslim 1466) - The Prophet ﷺ described the worst of women:
“The worst of your women are the ones who are outwardly immodest, who walk with arrogance, and who are hypocritical in speech. These will not enter Paradise except as a passing traveler.”
(Sunan Al-Bayhaqi 7/82, Al-Albani: Hasan)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه:
“A woman’s honor is her true beauty, and a man who disregards this will live in regret.”
(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 3/273) - Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“Marry a woman whose reputation is good among her people, for her modesty is her protection.”
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, 3/500) - Al-Awzaa’i رحمه الله:
“Marry a woman whose chastity is known, for this is the path of the righteous.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 7/153) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“A woman’s reputation is like glass—once broken, it does not return to its original state. Be cautious in choosing a spouse.”
(Kitab Al-Kaba’ir, p. 69) - Al-Fudayl ibn ‘Iyad رحمه الله:
“Do not be deceived by beauty if it comes without modesty, for the true beauty of a woman is her righteousness.”
(Hilyat al-Awliya, 8/93) - Imam Malik رحمه الله:
“A good marriage is built upon the foundations of purity and trust. Avoid a woman whose character is unknown or whose past is questionable.”
(Al-Muwatta, 2/524)
5. Al-Haddaaqah (الحداقة) – The Materialistic Woman
Description:
A woman who is excessively focused on acquiring wealth, luxury, and material possessions, constantly seeking to increase her lifestyle without regard for her husband’s financial capacity. She may be demanding, ungrateful, and never satisfied with what is provided, pressuring her husband to fulfill unnecessary desires. Such a woman prioritizes dunya over contentment and gratitude, which are essential for a stable and peaceful marriage.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah warns against being captivated by worldly possessions:
“And do not extend your eyes toward that by which We have given enjoyment to [some] categories of them, [its being] [but] the splendor of worldly life by which We test them. And the provision of your Lord is better and more enduring.”
(Surah Ta-Ha 20:131) - Allah commands moderation and condemns extravagance:
“Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and ever has Satan been to his Lord ungrateful.”
(Surah Al-Isra 17:27) - True success is not in wealth but in righteousness:
“Wealth and children are [but] adornment of the worldly life, but the enduring good deeds are better to your Lord for reward and better for [one’s] hope.”
(Surah Al-Kahf 18:46)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- Contentment leads to true richness:
“Be content with what you have, and you will be the richest of people.”
(Sunan At-Tirmidhi 2305, Al-Albani: Sahih) - The Prophet ﷺ warned against excessive materialism:
“By Allah! It is not poverty that I fear for you, but I fear that the world will be opened up for you as it was opened up for those before you, and you will compete for it as they competed for it, and it will destroy you as it destroyed them.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 4015, Sahih Muslim 2961) - A simple and content life is better than one filled with greed:
“Successful is the one who accepts Islam, is provided with what is sufficient, and is content with what Allah has given him.”
(Sahih Muslim 1054) - The Prophet ﷺ warned against excessive demands in marriage:
“The most blessed marriage is the one with the least financial burden.”
(Musnad Ahmad 24529, Al-Albani: Hasan Sahih)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Abdullah ibn Umar رضي الله عنه:
“The woman who is never satisfied with what her husband provides is ungrateful to Allah.”
(Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah, 5/123) - Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“If a woman burdens her husband with what he cannot afford, she is neither righteous nor wise.”
(Ibn Abi Shaybah, Musannaf, 5/327) - Al-Hasan Al-Basri رحمه الله:
“The one who chases after the dunya will always be in need, even if he owns everything in it.”
(Az-Zuhd, Ibn al-Mubarak, p. 245) - Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal رحمه الله:
“A woman who constantly desires what is beyond her husband’s means brings hardship into the home.”
(Kitab al-Zuhd, p. 184) - Ibn Qayyim رحمه الله:
“Contentment is the foundation of tranquility. A woman who seeks dunya excessively will never be satisfied, and neither will her husband find peace with her.”
(Madarij al-Salikeen, 2/303) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“A woman’s true wealth is her contentment, not her possessions.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 4/79)
6. Al-Barraaqah (البراقة) – The Woman Obsessed with Beauty
Description:
A woman who prioritizes physical appearance excessively, spending an inordinate amount of time on beautification, fashion, and external adornment while neglecting her religious duties. She may be obsessed with makeup, jewelry, and luxurious clothing, often focusing on attracting attention rather than observing modesty and righteousness.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah warns against excessive beautification and immodesty:
“And do not display yourselves as [was] the display of the former times of ignorance.”
(Surah Al-Ahzab 33:33) - Allah emphasizes that righteousness is more valuable than outward beauty:
“Indeed, the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you.”
(Surah Al-Hujurat 49:13) - Allah describes the characteristics of righteous women:
“So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard…”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:34)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- The Prophet ﷺ described the qualities of the best women:
“The best women are those who are pleasing when you look at them, obey when commanded, and safeguard themselves.”
(Sunan An-Nasa’i 3231, Al-Albani: Sahih) - The Prophet ﷺ warned against prioritizing beauty over religion:
“A woman may be married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. Choose the one who is religious, may your hands be covered in dust.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5090, Sahih Muslim 1466) - The Prophet ﷺ warned about women who focus on outward beauty but neglect modesty:
“There are two types of people of Hell whom I have not yet seen: people with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike people, and women who are clothed yet naked, swaying in their walk, and their heads are like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will not enter Paradise nor smell its fragrance.”
(Sahih Muslim 2128)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“A woman who is occupied with her beauty will have little concern for her home and husband.”
(Ibn Abi Shaybah, Musannaf, 5/327) - Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه:
“The beauty of a woman is in her modesty and righteousness, not in excessive adornment.”
(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 3/258) - Al-Hasan Al-Basri رحمه الله:
“A woman who spends more time beautifying her face than her soul has misplaced her priorities.”
(Az-Zuhd, Ibn al-Mubarak, p. 586) - Ibn Al-Jawzi رحمه الله:
“True beauty is the beauty of the heart. Outward beauty fades, but a righteous soul remains luminous.”
(Sifat al-Safwah, 4/149) - Imam Al-Dhahabi رحمه الله:
“A woman who is preoccupied with beautifying herself for strangers while neglecting her obligations is far from the path of righteousness.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 4/79)
7. Al-Shaddaaqah (الشداقة) – The Argumentative and Excessively Talkative Woman
Description:
A woman who speaks excessively, argues needlessly, and engages in constant disputes, creating tension in the household. She often raises her voice, dominates conversations, or contradicts her husband on trivial matters. Such a woman disrupts the peace and tranquility that marriage should provide.
Why to Avoid:
Islam emphasizes gentle speech, wisdom, and maintaining harmony in the home. A woman who is constantly argumentative makes it difficult to establish a loving, peaceful, and respectful marital relationship. The Prophet ﷺ and the righteous predecessors warned against excessive speech and unnecessary argumentation, as it breeds resentment and division.
Evidence from the Qur’an:
- Allah commands believers to speak with kindness and wisdom:
“And speak to people good [words]…”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:83) - Arguments and harsh words lead to division and enmity:
“And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute and [thus] lose courage and [then] your strength would depart; and be patient. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.”
(Surah Al-Anfal 8:46) - The righteous women are those who uphold harmony in the home:
“So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard…”
(Surah An-Nisa 4:34)
Evidence from the Hadith:
- The Prophet ﷺ warned against those who argue excessively:
“The most hated person to Allah is the one who is the most quarrelsome and argumentative.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 2457, Muslim 2668) - The Prophet ﷺ emphasized the reward of avoiding arguments:
“I guarantee a house in the surroundings of Paradise for a man who avoids quarrelling, even if he is right…”
(Sunan Abu Dawood 4800, Al-Albani: Hasan Sahih)
Statements of the Salaf:
- Umar ibn Al-Khattab رضي الله عنه:
“A man should not marry a woman who raises her voice against him, for a home without tranquility is a place of hardship.” (Ibn Abi Shaybah, Musannaf, 5/327) - Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه:
“A woman who always argues will destroy her marriage before it even settles.”
(Tafsir Ibn Kathir, 2/258) - Imam Al-Awzaa’i رحمه الله:
“Do not marry a woman whose tongue is sharper than a sword, for she will exhaust you before your trials even begin.”
(Siyar A’lam al-Nubala, 7/153) - Ibn Al-Jawzi رحمه الله:
“A sharp tongue destroys a marriage faster than a sharp knife.”
(Sifat al-Safwah, 4/149) - Imam Malik رحمه الله:
“Marry a woman who brings peace to your home, not one who brings conflict.”
(Al-Muwatta, 2/524)
Conclusion
The guidance of Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen رحمه الله is rooted in the principles of Islam that emphasize good character, sincerity, contentment, and righteousness in marriage. A man should seek a wife who is religiously upright, has good manners, and maintains balance in all aspects of life. This ensures a stable and fulfilling marriage based on Islamic values.
Allah knows best.